Among my life’s most exciting moments:
-Figuring out what cool new computer settings have been discovered by my cats sleeping on my keyboard.
-Seeing what mysterious documents have been mailed to me intended for previous tenants with suspiciously absurd names
-Daily tally of bruises I cannot explain (today: 5, on my left leg)
-Thinking I discovered something new (to me) under the microscope in lab (but it turns out it’s just a dye clump or another toxic neutrophil or plant matter or some bullshit)
-The thrill of discovering my plants are still, technically, alive-ish for another day
-Trying to decipher what I am hearing in the butt-dial I have just received. Oh, the joys of being the first name alphabetically in other peoples’ phone contacts.
MY LIFE IS A PARTY